Tuesday, November 18, 2014

The Man Who Hiked With Me

Last week I had a really bad day.  Being a stay-at-home mom and the primary caregiver for a child with "special needs" is not easy.  I admit that my stress and worry gets the better of me at times and last Tuesday was one of those days.  Before my husband left for work I told him I needed an hour to go hike in the woods to clear my head and de-stress.  He agreed, took our son in his room to play legos, and I immediately walked out the door.

As I walked through the darkening woods I took many shaky breaths, cried a little, and let myself become engulfed in self pity for a while.  Sometimes you just have to let it out, I suppose.  After about fifteen minutes of this I stopped and looked around me.  The woods were almost pitch black at that point due to the time change and times like that are when I feel most at peace.  Darkness soothes me for some reason.  I closed my eyes and opened myself up to see anyone around me.  As I opened my eyes I looked around to find several pairs of eyes looking at me through the trees.  I looked to my left to find the spirit of an older man standing right next to me smiling.

I smiled back at him and he placed his hand on my shoulder.  He said "Walk with me" and I did.  We walked about a half a mile in silence.  Finally he stopped and turned me to face him.  He quietly said "Everything will be ok.  You are doing everything you can.  Don't be so hard on yourself."  I told him "But I feel so lost all the time."  And he replied "So find yourself again.  You know where to look; to reawaken yourself.  Go there."  I shed a few more tears and he turned away to give me privacy.

We began walking again in silence and as I took each step I felt a sense of calmness come over me.  His words rang true in my ears.  Since moving to Germany I had lost myself.  I didn't do all of the things that nurtured my soul.  I somehow disconnected from myself and ignored the very basics of what my soul needs.  I realized at that point that it's crucial to put my needs front and center to get back my happiness and well being.

Eventually we came to the end of the trail, the place that meets the outskirts of our village.  I turned and asked him if he was coming with me and he shook his head no.  He squeezed my shoulder and said good bye.  I stood there in silence as he disappeared back into the forest.  I let out a loud sigh, started walking again, and made my way back home feeling somewhat better and inspired to find myself again.

Thank you for reading my blog.


No comments:

Post a Comment