Saturday, December 19, 2015

Lotus Lunation

This past year has been a year of ups and downs and inner confusion for myself. I have always struggled with that annoying question of "What should I do for a living?" I'm sure you've even read a few blog posts I've written on that very subject! The reality is that I am in the position where I don't have to necessarily choose what I want to be when I "grow up." I will never be in the position to have the opportunity to work full time, work in an office, and be a true professional career woman. It's just not in my cards; I have to be a mother first. I'm ok with that. But despite my limitations, I still have passion, drive, and the want to help others through my bizarre talents.
I've made many failed and half-assed attempts to create a somewhat professional life amidst all of my chaos. I've had Luna Healings for years and it was mildly successful but it was never quite what I wanted. My rescue is incredibly successful but it's not quite what I've wanted to do professionally, either. I've taken many courses and read many books to broaden my knowledge and to quench that thirst for something more. I became a Shamanic Practitioner and a Certified Veterinary Assistant in the process. I've even grown more as a psychic medium and healer, which I love. I have always grasped and struggled and searched for that perfect blend and idea that allowed me to consolidate my two loves: my spiritual work and animals. It has never been an easy task. Until now.
I've spent this entire year (Yes, ALL of 2015) praying, meditating, studying, and planning to figure out just what I really want in life and how I wanted to implement it. I was no longer looking to make money, exactly. I was looking for an outlet to share my knowledge, help others, and truly work with animals on the deeper level I know I'm capable of. Tarot card readings are fun and all, but my heart is more into actually helping others improve their lives and grow and to helping animals. ANIMALS most of all. I could never turn my back on people so I had to figure out how to do both without making myself look bipolar (which I probably have already done on countless occasions).
You see, it is a burden in a way to have so many interests and passions. Because when you do, you risk the chance of looking crazy and indecisive. Not to mention, you're almost forced to choose which one you wish to put the most energy into. How the heck do you choose just one thing? In my case, I simply cannot. I love what I do. My abilities (unorthodox and bizarre to most) are true gifts in my opinion. Whether you believe in them or not, you can't deny they don't help people. I've seen it time and time again. I would never stop helping others and putting myself out there even if it means I will look insane in the process. Sorry, it's just not who I am.
I've never really told others that I am able to communicate with animals. It's not something people are truly comfortable with. They may believe I can talk to spirits, but animals? Nope, that's too far fetched. I've been able to feel animals' emotions, physical pain, and pick up on their thought patterns since I was a child. I never understood it until I was much older, and even still I rationalized it away. The longer I've worked in animal rescue, though, the harder it is to ignore. My goodness, is this gift a heavy burden to bear. It hurts me to my deepest core and then to have to walk away from the animal without being given the chance to help is soul shattering. You just have no idea. I've had to deal with the anger, frustration, and heart break that goes with this gift my entire life. Despite the pain, I've made every effort these past twelve months to further grow and learn and expand on this particular ability and am ready to share it with others. I HAVE to. If not for myself, then for the animals. They have no voice. I have no choice but to be their voice. I wasn't really given an option, in all truth.
But I digress... This post is my way of finally explaining why I have been a total mess these past few years. Why I have been all over the place, indecisive, and just a hot mess. It takes a lot of time, patience, and energy to sort out all those passions, emotions, and abilities and to regroup them into something mildly sane. Somehow, some way, I finally was able to do just that. I have deleted my Luna Healings website because it simply doesn't represent me anymore. I have worked hard on my new site. I have rebranded, in a way, and really created something I am proud of and will never be ashamed to say is my own. Yes, I may be weird to a lot of people. Yes, I will proudly admit that I communicate with spirits and animals and can do all sorts of unorthodox (but really cool) things. I'm ready to be at peace and in the position to focus on this one endeavor that allows me to do all the things I want to do in a professional and compassionate way.
It is not intended to be my full time job. I already have one of those (being a mom is definitely one!). This endeavor is my love child. It is my way of expression and my way of helping every being I possibly can. I'm so proud of it I could burst. I hope you will do me the honor of checking out my site, "Liking" my new FB page (under Lotus Lunation), starting a conversation with me where you feel comfortable with asking me any questions without judgement, and telling others about me that may need some help on this hard journey we call "life." Not everyone is given the clarity and gift of realizing their true purpose in life; their calling. I feel incredibly lucky to be one of those people and it feels fabulous.

Thank you for reading my blog.

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