Friday, April 22, 2016

The Violent Man in Hohenbaden Castle

Visiting castles in Germany is one of my favorite things.  There's nothing more awe inspiring than standing inside an ancient castle and imagining what those walls have seen in their lifetime.  Most of the castles I visit are in ruins, which for some reason add to the appeal.  They all have so much energy, and so many spirits residing in them, that the places all seem to vibrate and hum.  When we pull up to a new site, I can always feel that vibration.  I can hear the spirits whispering and murmuring.  And I can see many eyes assessing me and my family as we walk toward their home.

Hohenbaden Castle, located in Baden-Baden, Germany, was one of the most memorable castles I've seen to date.   The ruins are massive, the castle itself was beautiful, and it had a special feature that was new to me: A dungeon.  Well, I'm assuming that's what it was.  The stairs we took went underground and inside it was dark and so thick with energy I could barely breathe.

The dungeon was a large room with a series of stalls that lined the right side of the wall.  I believe there were five stalls in all.  I could already pick up on the spirits in those spaces and asked my husband to take our son to explore while I did my own version of exploring.

I started with the first stall, the closest to the stairs.  I closed my eyes and immediately saw a woman close to my age cowering in the corner.  She was shaking and terrified and appeared to have been beaten.  Her old dress was stained and torn.  Her face was covered in blood and bruises.  Her bloody, scraped hands covered her frightened face.  She wasn't afraid of me, but of someone else hiding in one of the other stalls.  Great.

I braced myself and entered the second stall.  No one there.  The third stall: Bingo!  I call this man "The Rapist."  He was disgusting and awful and so, so violent.  It has been a year since I stepped foot in that dungeon and I still feel sick when I think of him.  He had long, dark stringy hair that covered his face.  His eyes appeared black and hollow.  He was well over 6 ft in height, and he was very muscular.  He looked like he had a very tough profession when living. 

 I let out a slow breath and waited for him to react to my presence.

He was clearly not happy that I was in his space.  He called me a whore, spat at my feet, and towered over me.  I stood my ground, knowing that he wasn't powerful enough to actually inflict harm.  He yelled, threatened to rape me like the "slut in the first stall", and then tried to physically assault me.  He grabbed at my hair to pull my head back.  He punched at my face.  He tried to rip my clothes off of my body.  But then he was so confused as to why he wasn't able to actually touch me.  That seemed to enrage him even more.  He unleashed another series of attacks on me, all of which luckily had zero effect.  He eventually gave up, but not without showing me in a vision of what he would have done to me if he could.  That man was revolting and he sucked all the energy he could out of me.  I was exhausted and very angry by the time I left his space.  And I admit that I was shaken.

I could feel four other women in that dungeon with me; all were that man's victims.  It was sad because after my encounter with him I could see why they looked and felt the way they did.  It was horrible, and sad, and I couldn't take it anymore.  I used every ounce of energy I had to cross each and every woman over fully into the after life.  They walked through the bright light with so much relief that I couldn't help but smile.  

The disgusting man was standing in the doorway of his stall watching the whole time with a look of fear and awe in his face.  He appeared to be afraid of me now, and I even heard the word "witch" come from his mind.  When I was done helping his victims I turned to face him head on.  I smiled my brightest smile and told him "Now you can rot in here alone.  Utterly, and completely alone."  Then I spat at his feet and walked out of that dungeon forever.

And it felt good.

Thank you for reading my blog.

Friday, April 15, 2016

What Being an Empath Is Like...

I typically talk about what it's like communicating with spirits, but today I wanted to talk about what it's like to be an Empath.  An Empath is someone who is not only sensitive to other people's energy, but they can also feel other people's emotions and sometimes their physical pain.  I have been an empath all of my life.  It has always been a struggle for me because I found it difficult to find the necessary balance to sanely survive such a thing.  Over the years, thankfully, I have learned to properly cope with this part of my life.  So how does it work for me?  Well, I will tell you :-)

My empathic abilities come in a few different ways:

1. I can feel the emotions and energies of the living.  Large crowds, parties, arguments, funerals, these are just a few things I will try to avoid at all costs.  Large crowds and parties are overwhelming because that's a lot of emotions to be feeling at one time.  It causes me a tremendous amount of anxiety.  I become nervous, anxious, sad, happy, confused, hyper, and more.  It's an emotional roller coaster.  I don't like being around angry people or people that are in a heated debate because then I become stressed and angry myself.  It also annoys me to no end because those are emotions I would rather not feel when they aren't my own.  Funerals are the WORST.  All that sadness and melancholia and doom and gloom.  It's unbearable.  Now, think about feeling your own feelings and then having to constantly deflect everyone else's emotions.  And THEN, add the extra part of seeing and hearing all the spirits around each person.  No wonder I come off as crazy and weird....

2. I can feel the emotions and pain of the dead.  I can hear, see, and feel spirits.  But I can also absorb and experience their emotions.  I can also feel how they died.  When I am communicating with the dead I can immediately tell if they are happy, sad, confused, or angry.  Once I am able to identify the spirit in some way and also take note of their current emotional state, I then begin to feel how they died.  I've seen in a few rare cases the results of their passing.  Especially when it entailed a gunshot wound.  Most people that have passed on don't exhibit outward signs of their passing, though.  So leave it up to me to feel how they died.  Unpleasant, right?  Oh it is.  I have felt stabbing pains throughout my body.  Head pains mean tumor or some kind of trauma.  Chest pain means heart attack.  Other spots, and the severity of the pain, can mean gun shot or cancer.  I've even had the breath taken out of me, which meant lung cancer.  Oddly enough, I don't mind feeling those sorts of things.  I figure it's just one way of helping the spirits I encounter to find closure.  

3.  I can feel the emotions and physical pain of all types of animals.  This is the hardest thing for me to experience.  When I see a dog in a car.  When I pass an animal on the side walk.  Or when I visit the zoo.  These are all instances that I will be faced with feeling the emotions of the animals.  Zoos and animal shelters are by far the worst, but it can be equally heart wrenching to just pass a dog on the street.  During each encounter I feel their full range of emotions.  They will look me right in the eyes and I can also receive an overall message that they are trying to convey.  Then I will begin to feel any pain or discomfort they are in.  The emotions of zoo animals are so heartbreaking that I avoid zoos at all costs.  I simply am not strong enough for that.  What do these animals feel?  They feel everything.  Sadness, heartbreak, despair.  They feel happiness, joy, and overwhelming amounts of love.  Zoo animals mostly feel anxiety, pure despair, and listlessness.  And anger.  One of the hardest things is being forced to walk away from an animal knowing that their human won't do anything to help them.  I have said something on numerous occasions, some even to paying clients, where I explain what the dog is saying and feeling.  I can tell you that almost every single person treated me like a liar and they never did anything to help their animal out or to ease their pain.  It is infuriating.  Another difficult thing is knowing when my own animals are in pain.  How do you explain to the Vet that your cat is in pain and when they ask you how you know you have no real answer other than "I can feel it."  It's not an easy thing to explain!

As I'm sure you can understand, my empathic abilities aren't something I openly admit to people in every day life.  It's not an easily understood thing.  I mean, how would you feel if I put my hand on your arm and said "I can feel that you're depressed and nauseous and really tired."  Or tell you that your dog told me he is having a lot of pain because you won't stop feeding him lunch meat and he feels very frustrated with you.  No one wants to truly hear those things, and if I do voice those things, most people will assume I'm on the fast track to crazy town.  

Aside from the fact that I have to normally hide that side of myself and the general discomfort and anxiety I can feel at any given time, I really don't mind being an empath all that much.  It's been a part of who I am for so long that I'm mostly used to it.  I know what places to avoid and how to protect myself from becoming too overwhelmed.  And I have learned to not really care when people think I'm a tad odd.  It's all part of owning up to all the bizarre and unexplained things that exist within my universe.  And my universe definitely likes to keep things interesting.  Like all the time...

Thank you for reading my blog.

Thursday, April 7, 2016

The Soul Searcher's Guide

This book is AMAZING.  I've been slacking when it comes to my spiritual practice, and there are still many topics that I don't know much about.  I came across this book online by accident, but I felt it was meant to be.  It helped me to find my own inner motivation once again to be a more spiritual person, and it educated me on many new topics.

So what exactly is this book about?  Everything!  Emma Mildon talks about her own spiritual journey and talks in depth about aromatherapy, astrology, dreams, crystals, akashic records, past lives, the power of prayer and affirmations, and more.  The book breaks everything down in a beautiful and helpful way so that you can refer back to it time and time again.  

I believe this book is for people in every stage of their journey.

I have a feeling I will be coming back to this book a lot in the future, and I will most definitely be referring it to anyone that asks about how they can become a more spiritual being.  In other words, I highly recommend this book ;-)

Thank you for reading my blog.