Sunday, July 31, 2016

Why I Don't Drive At Night

I avoid driving at night like the plague.  I refuse on most occasions to even make plans in the late evening that would make my driving home in the dark inevitable.  Nope, no way, no thank you.  People think I'm weird, and I typically use the excuse of not being able to see well at night.  Sometimes I wish that were the case!

Ever since I can remember, night time (and when I'm sleepy) are always the hardest when it comes to trying to block spirits from bothering me.  I've gotten better at it over the years, but the dead are around at all times that naturally some will slip through my "walls."  At night, spirits come out in droves.  They're always around, but for some reason it's worse when it's dark.  I'm also more tired by night time, so I become more sensitive.

Being out at night is tough because I see them everywhere.  Not just people, animals too.  I can see them staring at me, following me, touching my hair and face.  It's just plain creepy sometimes.  They don't scare me at all, but it used to be very overwhelming, as I'm sure you can understand.  When I drive, however, it's really hard to control my gift.  I'm focused on driving, so my ability to "shield" myself weakens.  I see spirits of all kinds lining the streets, peeking around the trees, and even walking or standing in the road.

I can't tell you how many times I've slammed on my breaks because a spirit is standing in the middle of the road!

While I'm able to discern the difference between a spirit and a living person, it's still difficult to not react.  So there I go slamming on my breaks, my adrenaline kicking in because I thought I was going to hit a person, and my ability to focus on driving is affected.  It drives me crazy.

When I was a teenager, I thought I was insane.  Literally insane because I was seeing people on the road that weren't really there.  I thought I had lost my mind and would have to be committed.  The only thing that allowed those fears of insanity to disappear was when I started reading for other people.  I begged for feedback and photos of the spirits I mentioned so I could prove to myself that I wasn't crazy.  Luckily, so many times, my clients provided me with photos that looked exactly like the people I saw.  Thanks to the good ol' internet, I am able to research people I see and/or dream about to know if they're really dead and actually existed.  If it weren't for those things, I wouldn't even believe myself.

Despite the proof I received, and desperately needed, I still don't like to explain to people why I don't drive at night.  It's awkward and I don't like being treated like a leper.  This past weekend I went out on a girl's night with some friends.  We went to dinner and a movie, and I didn't start driving home until after 10:00 pm.  AKA Dark time.  I made it home just fine, and I even avoided slamming on my breaks, but I saw spirits everywhere I turned.  It was the first time I had driven at night in two years!

I was proud of myself for making it home without any incident, but it reminded me of all the scary incidents I've had in the past.  Being able to see spirits is really fun, and I am so thankful for the gift that was given to me.  But there are also heavy burdens that come with this blessing such as being affected at night, being invaded while sleeping (or just being sleepy), and experiencing all kinds of terrors when spirits want you to experience their passing for yourself.  I wouldn't trade any of it for the world, but sometimes it would be nice to be a little bit more understood and a little less judged.  Especially with my annoying refusal to drive at night ;-)

Thank you for reading my blog.

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