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Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Getting To Know Yourself


I have been in a very contemplative, reflective mood this past month and it's sort of driving me bananas.  At least twice a year I re-evaluate my life, my current mental state, my feelings, and my passions.  Basically, I ask myself "Is this who I want to be?  Am I on the right track?  What can I do differently?"  And if my answer is different than it was six months ago, I try to make changes accordingly.  The problem with that, however, is that it can be sort of a roller coaster emotionally, mentally, and physically.  I like to think that if we aren't constantly evolving and growing and changing ourselves for the better we aren't fully living life as it was intended.  And I fully believe that if we aren't a bit uncomfortable, we aren't properly changing and growing as we should.  After all, I don't think anyone can say change is easy!  But it is just so hard sometimes!

The funny thing is that when we decide to look inside more often than others, and really strive to make changes when necessary, it can be hard for our friends and family to understand and connect with us.  They may not get what your sudden change is all about.  They may think you are flaky, can't settle on just one thing, and don't know what you want.  They may feel disconnected with you and feel like they don't know you anymore.  Your change can be extremely difficult for the people around you.  And that's ok!!  We all have to hop on the struggle bus every now and then to initiate some of that much needed positive change.

My family and friends know when I've entered this contemplative mood, because I will start new projects, introduce new ideas, and begin shifting my focus a bit.  I have a tendency to get off track more often than not because I have so many passions.  So those moments where I come back to myself and check in are so necessary.  They get me back to a point where I can narrow down those passions and interests to a more manageable state.  

Maybe that's my passive way of saying to expect a new project from me soon, because I actually am working on something that will be in addition to this blog that will allow me to be true to my self more than ever.  I'm pretty excited about that. 

I think that everyone can benefit from taking time out of their lives to check in and see if they are truly happy.  Check-in and see if there is anything they could be doing differently to ensure absolute fulfillment and happiness.  No one is going to do that for you, so why not take control of your life and never have regrets?  

I found a wonderful list of questions from psychcentral.com that may just help you to get started on that whole self reflection thing: 



Take some time this week/weekend to honestly answer those 26 questions.  And then think about your current life.  What changes can you make to ensure you're living a life that is authentic to your true self?  This exercise can be done as often as you like, and it's important to have fun with it.  Life is meant to be enjoyable!

Remember that you deserve to be happy. You deserve to live a life full of purpose and meaning.  You deserve to be authentically you, free of any judgement and shame.  That is a life worth living, after all.

Thank you for reading my blog.



Sunday, April 2, 2017

The Haunted Doll I Nicknamed "Yikes"




*Pop Quiz*

Take a look at the picture above and ask yourself the following:

1. Does this doll have a female or male spirit attached to it?

2. Is the spirit kind and compassionate, or angry and malevolent?

3.  First impression, how does this doll make you feel?

Now really take a moment to look at this doll and feel the attached spirit's energy.  

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If you participated in the above quiz you basically reenacted the exact process I go through upon meeting a new doll.  Part of my job as a medium is to shut down all of the inner dialogue going on in my head--the judgements, opinions, second guessing, doubt--and simply listen to the very first impressions that come into my mind.  It's not easy at all, in fact, it takes a lot of continuous practice.  Especially since these first thoughts happen within a millisecond, and those annoying ego fueled thoughts come immediately after.  This all happens within the first two seconds of making contact with a doll, spirit, building, or object.  It's a lot of pressure!  But at the same time, I enjoy the mental exercise and I also make sure to rely on my own body sensations to fill in any missing pieces.  Your body can clue you in to all sort of things.  You can feel dread, fear, and anxiety.  That typically means a not so good spirit.  Feeling happiness, exhilaration, and fulfillment often means you are in the presence of a nature spirit or deceased family member.  And just goosebumps and adrenaline can mean the simple presence of a ghost.  

It took me years of practice to really hone this skill; learning to listen to my intuition and body sensations to siphon as much information as possible within ten seconds of coming in contact with a spirit.  And even with all the practice I've had,  I can be surprised and caught off guard by what I am met with.  Case in point: This very doll.

At first glance, I assumed I would be meeting with a female spirit who was mildly confused or frustrated by being stuck to this doll.  I figured our encounter would be simple and I would have the spirit crossed over in no time.  But then I went through the process of asking myself the very questions I asked you.  Is this a male or female spirit?  Male.  Definitely male.  Huh, I thought to myself, that's interesting.  Is the spirit kind or malevolent?  My stomach sunk as I realized this spirit was most definitely malevolent.  He was angry and violent and just plain bad.  How does this spirit and doll make me feel?  Dread.  Uncomfortable.  Hesitant.  And when I took a second to really connect to the spirit's energy one word came to mind: YIKES.  Also, EWWWW.  But mostly "yikes."




When I took ten minutes to sit down and officially connect with the spirit attached to this doll, I was met with hostility and anger.  I heard "I hate you" and "Rot in hell" which are clearly things you do not want to hear from a spirit.  Ever.  I saw a man who had jet black hair, appeared to be in his mid 40's, had a large beer belly, and seemed to be the poster child of alcoholism.  He just exuded alcohol addiction.  He was somehow attached to this doll against his will and he has been bitter and livid at the fact that 1. it's a doll and 2. it's a girl doll.  The horror.  He was a clear projector so I got all of this information clearly and quickly.  I also saw that he's angry with the fact that the doll has been tampered with.  There are elements to the doll's appearance that haven't always looked this way and that offends him.  He is miffed that someone would mess with the doll's appearance while he's attached to it.  Almost like it was personal, which it definitely was not.

This man died in the early 90's.  I believe he died from liver failure or heart attack; something that was a direct result from his excessive drinking.  He lived somewhere like Oklahoma or Texas.  He worked a hard labor job.  I don't think he was married at the time of his death and he had no children.  He never crossed over and then one day *poof* he was attached to this doll.  He is confused as to how this happened and there is a major hole in his memory during that time.  

Since our initial contact he makes sure to say something whenever I walk by or am in my office (where this doll is stored).  His comments usually involve something snarky and rude, but luckily it's easy to ignore him.  At night, I've heard him talking out loud, walking around, and once he even scratched across the length of the wall very slowly.  It sounded like an animal with claws and it was extremely unsettling.  

I had been taking my time with this guy; slowly figuring out how to go about crossing him over.  I did not want to have to have lengthy conversations with him and felt that there was a way to make him leave without much effort on my part.  Thankfully I was able to do just that.  Right after taking these photos I had a bright idea.  I cleansed the entire room and each doll with cedar smoke.  I opened the window in that room and then explained to the other dolls how to cross over.  All in an attempt to set the stage for this guy to cross on his own.  I knew he was listening as I explained the process and the cedar smoke and open window made the transition even easier.  I kept the smoke coming and made it seem like I was turning my back to him so that he would feel he was being sneaky and defiant by taking advantage of the rare opportunity presented to him.  My silly attempt to manipulate him actually worked and as my back was turned, he separated from the doll and went through the bright white light.  The entire room's energy lightened immediately.  All it took for this guy was for him to feel in charge and like he was tricking me.  Men, lol.

I can't say that I know where his spirit will end up, but at least I know he's not where he doesn't belong: attached to a doll.  Who he meets in his crossing and what he must face is all on him.  My job is done when it comes to him and it feels good to wipe my hands clean of him.  

One down....way too many more to go.

Thank you for reading my blog.